Family is defined as "a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children...two or more people who share goals and value, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place...all members of a household under one roof" (The American heritage Dictionary of the English Language). The world has seen homosexually headed families since the beginning. Within social species of animals, primarily marine birds and mammals, monkeys and the great apes homosexual behavior and families have been observed. An example of this is male penguin couples have been documented to mate for life, build nests together, and to use a stone as a surrogate egg in nesting and brooding. The Central Park Zoo replaced a penguin make couple's stone with a fertile egg. The penguin male couple raised the baby as their own. This is nothing new!
Gay and Lesbian headed families continue to be an issue for people. It wasn't until the 19th century that gay and lesbian relationships were seen as indicative of a type of person with a defined and relatively stable sexual orientation.
There are three basic concerns that many people have about gay and lesbian headed families. 1. Gay or Lesbian parents may consciously or unconsciously provide inappropriate models for sexual development - they might convince their children of the desirability of homosexuality or disturb them by overt expression of affection for each other. 2. Particularly for gay men, they might have sexual relations with their children. 3. The children might be stigmatized by others, particularly their peers who are intolerant of their parents' sexuality.
During the first wave of studies in the 1970s on children and young adults from heterosexual relationships who were moved with the mother who participated in lesbian relationships, regardless of the geographical or demographics characteristics of the families the results were consistent " Children from lesbian mother families did not show a higher rate of psychological disorder or difficulties in peer relationships than their counterparts from heterosexual homes. With respect to gender development, there was no evidence of confusion about gender identity among these children, and no difference in sex role behavior between children in lesbian and heterosexual families for either boys or girls" (Golomok, 2002, p. 1407-1408).
Taylor is a woman who was raised by her biological mother who was in a committed lesbian relationship. Her comments in regards to her family lifestyle are "I don't even think there is a normal. I think every family is unique. And thanks to mine, I'm extremely tolerant of other human beings, especially when it comes to things they can't change. Mom raised me to be an accepting and kind person. And in my opinion, that's what being a good parent is all about." (Heald & Taylor, 2005, p. 154-158).
Issues arise in the creation of a gay or lesbian family. There are options such as artificial insemination, adoption, and surrogacy. The laws for the state of Maine are as follows: Under Citation: Ann. Stat. Tit. 18-A, 9-301 The following persons may adopt: A husband and wife jointly, An unmarried person, A resident or non resident. Which does not exclusively rule out the possibility for a same-sex couple to adopt but it does not make clear whether a same-sex couple can adopt together.
I feel that everyone has a right to have a loving and supportive family regardless of its creation. Everyone should enjoy equal rights regardless of their sexual preference. There are millions of children living in foster homes, stuck within a seemingly endless system that are desperately searching for loving and caring homes. Is it better to leave them displaced than to place them into warm, welcoming homes? Children should have the opportunity to receive love and give love to those who desperately want to give love to them. Over time I see gay and lesbian couples finding it easier to create families of their own. Times are changing, laws are changing, the once blinded viewers of society are now seeing the reality of life. The reality that this world is extremely diverse yet life should be treated equally for all.
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Great post full of great information. I loved the story of the penguin. No laws there to stop them. They live by the laws of nature. I also think the story of Taylor is informative. I wonder though, where did the three concerns come from (only because they seem ridiculous - but I am sure they are true)? and regarding the State of Maine, can one person in a gay/lesbian relationship adopt but they can't adopt as a couple? If so, doesn't it make it very difficult on the partner who does not have custody if they break up? I hope Maine has laws for that because many people break up in this society.
ReplyDeleteJess this post was well said and well timed. There are so many oppressive forces to gay/lesbian couples and families. It is so hard to know that there are so many children in the world who need loving parents, and the US is limiting that even more...
ReplyDeleteI really liked this post. I had not seen the definition or even thought about looking up the definition of family, I just took for granted that in my mind family can have many different meanings and look different for each person. I did not put any real restrictions or boudaries to the idea of family. I was happy to see that the definition that you posted also seemed to be inclusive and not specifically stating that family has to be one man one woman and children. I am going to share this with some of my family memebers who have a very limited idea as to what a family should and does consist of.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very positive post. I enjoyed it and felt that it pointed out a lot of positive thing for people who are opposed to gay and lesbian couples raising children for any three reasons that were mentioned! I had heard the stories of the penguins before and think that it's very touching and a very good example of how, as long as a couple is willing to nurture a child and love it unconditionally then the couple is fit to parent. It's too bad that there are people so uncomfortable with a gay/lesbian couple raising a child that they'll say things like "the child won't have proper role models for relationships" Often times a relationship between and man and a woman can be unhealthy too.
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